FRANCEEEEEE

Part two-Who were the French and why were they such pansies?
The French are stereotypically a bunch of arrogant effeminate pansies who can't win any war due to their tendency to surrender. Before the world wars, the French were regarded as the second greatest world power, France is an old country, they have been around since the shortly after the fall of the Roman Empire (that’s at least 1500 years by the way). For most history, they have been a great military and cultural power, and at several points in history dominated large parts of Europe, and many times were either the richest or most cultural dominate part of that part of the world. And something happened a little less than a hundred years before WWI, and only fifty years before the infamous Franco Prussian war. That something was called Napoleon Bonaparte, who is in the top five list of “Greatest Badass in history”. Basically France overthrew their king and declared a Democracy after seeing America do it (whoops, our bad). Problem was that their first democracy was fanatical and went on a massive killing spree, and the second government that replaced it was corrupt and inept. Into this steps Napoleon Bonaparte, a 5’2 pudgy Italian man who pretty much single handedly he took on every single nation in Europe at the same time for 13 years (1799-1812) He pretty much won against all of the nations of Europe at the same time, and made Austria in particular his whiny little Bitch. Then in 1811 he invaded Russia and lost his largest army, and was defeated in 1815, came back a few months later almost won again, lost again at Waterloo. While France had been defeated, everybody still was in awe of Napoleon’s awesomeness, and so France was regarded as a super badass military power, then the Germans completely pwned in 1870. Despite this humiliation, French culture spread across Europe by Napoleon’s conquests, which included ideas like Democracy, unified militaries, and Jews been treated as people. Their culture was emulated by almost every nation except England and to a lesser extent Germany, as they had the finest food, finest fashion, finest art, some of the finest buildings, finest music, and fine women. This won them a reputation as a cultural powerhouse, but they were considered somewhat effeminate by the more militaristic Germany and England. Its worth noting that British and English don’t have a reputation for either fine fashion or food, while French food is amazing and they are the capital of the fashion world. The French upper class, unlike the English or German, learned other languages, understand fine food, getting into art work, dress nicely, flirt all the time (the French had a well deserved reputation for cheating on each other...all the time), fashion, poetry, and classics, and had an empire. France owned what is now Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia, as well as the second largest amount of "spheres of influence" (read puppet states) in China, next to England, and the second largest amount of African colonies, read rivalry. So when Germany came about, England was pretty into the idea, because Germany was a threat to France, their rival, cause, France and Germany HATTTTTTED each other. Finally, France was also a democracy, making them unique in Europe, and the closest ally of the USA, who distrusted England. Did I miss anything? Oh right, racism. France was not as racist as Germany eventually proved to be, Jews were officially accepted, but were persecuted and treated as inferior, IE the Dreyfus Affair, where the French chose to blame the loss of 1870 on the highest ranking Jewish Officer Dreyfus, and had him arrested. Turned out he didn’t do it, but the affair torn France political life apart between those who thought him innocent and those who thought him guilty. Also the French committed multiple genocides in Africa, so there is still blood on their hands, but we don’t care because again, those people aren’t white.